Molson Coors lobbying World Health Organization for naming rights on next global virus

DENVER, CO – Molson Coors Beverage Company has reportedly hired a consulting firm to lobby officials within the World Health Organization (WHO) to acquire naming rights for the next global virus.

With a formal name of 2019-nCoV, the novel coronavirus has caused global panic through its spread across continents. Panic also ensued within brand marketing discussions in the world’s largest beverage companies.

“We can’t let another opportunity like this pass us by,” explained Adam Collins, Chief Communications and Corporate Affairs Officer with Molson Coors. “It’s rare that you have your beverage brand name uttered thousands of times a day for several months in a row.”

Although Molson Coors isn’t disclosing which of their beer brands they are pursing, one source has provided us with a list of finalists. The potential names include: MillerGenuineDiseasevirus (or MGDvirus), BlueMoonvirus and the supposed frontrunner Rickardsvirus.

“We would be committing marketing malpractice if we didn’t pursue naming rights,” concluded Mr. Collins.