Turmoil in Tinseltown: Reindeer lose employee status, Elves move to unionize

NORTH POLE – Add Reindeer Games to list of cancelled events in 2020. This year has been tumultuous for much of the world and the North Pole is no exception.

Multiple reports from Santa’s Workshop paint a not-so-rosy picture of what is happening behind closed doors.

Father Christmas’s empire is under attack from multiple fronts as both the manufacturing and distribution arms are unhappy with current arrangements.

In a movement that’s been brewing for years, a minority of Elves are pushing to unionize in order to aggregate collective bargaining power against the powerful Mr. Claus.

“The conditions we work under are absolutely brutal and something needs to change,” said one Elf speaking anonymously.

“The big guy doesn’t want to listen to one of us so let’s see what happens when he’s forced to listen to all of us.”

The Elves also cite concerns about job security as the North Pole embraces more automation in their manufacturing processes.

Meanwhile, the larger battle may be the threat of litigation by the Reindeer who are opposed to a recent move by the North Pole that classifies them as independent contractors instead of employees.

In what was described as a cost-cutting measure, a spokesperson for the North Pole explained that Reindeer work about 1 day per year on average and it’s economically unsustainable to keep them on the payroll as employees.

The spokesperson also cited a flexible work schedule and that they "are not central to their core business."

Meanwhile, Blitzen, speaking on behalf of the Reindeer, says this move isn’t as jolly as you would believe.

“It’s not like we’re able to just turn off anytime we want…we need to be at the ready 24/7 for the big guy.”

Lawyers for Father Christmas are emboldened by the passing of Proposition 22 in California which places app-based drivers as contractors and not employees.

One central issue for The Reindeer deals with the unclear liability that comes with changing status to independent contractors.

The concerns arose after an infamous hit and run involving a Grandma in 1979.

Although conflicting reports indicate alcohol was a factor, The Reindeer do not want to take any chances.

"That incident nearly drowned us in litigation for years," explained Blitzen. "The only slight benefit was a moderate uptick in those who believe."

Insurers in the North Pole later mandated the use of bright red lights to lead the delivery efforts as an extra safety precaution.